Why did I (we) do it??? Pt 2

Stating the obvious again, this is part 2

So, I'm in India doing an Internship which seems to have ruined my life! 

I finally get internet and log on to [facebook]

after reading several messages about how 'good I put it down', I quickly realize that this is NOT my facebook, but the facebook of the man boy I am supposed to be in a relationship with.

Message after message from girls whom have "experienced" him recently...IN MY APARTMENT!

Wait, wait, wait....you mean to tell me that this dude not only cheated within 1 month of being in a committed relationship, but he did so in YOUR house, where you pay bills, where your name is on the lease?!??!

Yes! That is exactly what I'm telling you!

What was I to do??? I am in India, literally on the other side of the planet from my apartment, my new laptop, and my blade!

So I'm forced to suck it up and play it cool until my mother can get my keys from this fool!

How could I do it? How could I be trusting enough to leave my keys with a guy that I had been in a relationship with for under 2 months? How could I give him access to my stuff? Why was I even in a relationship???

Truth is, I did what someone in a relationship is supposed to be able to do: trust my partner, be honest, let them in, be vulnerable....

But perhaps I just chose the wrong one to do so with. This guy I a liar...I knew that. He had nothing - no job, no car, not in school, not in the military, no goals, nothing! But I decided that some people have rough starts, and learn to smooth it over in the end. So I tried to care for him, to give him a leg up by helping him get a phone, get a job, get a life! I tried to hard...I tried to help the wrong person.

In all honesty, I would love to feel that "Men aint shit! He's such a dog! They're all the same!" feeling, just so I can feel SOMETHING...anything! But I don't...I see this as an isolated tragedy. They are NOT all the same, he was an ass and  coward - that doesn't mean all men are bad...it just means I chose a bad one =\

Why did I do it? Because I was trying to open up my heart to someone...because I wanted the experience of a relationship to see what all the hype was about....because its only natural to expect someone is telling you the truth!

I can say it was my first relationship and now I know the signs...and I will try my hardest to not pick another bad one!

Why did I (we) do it??? Pt 1

This will be the first of 2 blogs...if you couldn't tell from the [Pt 1] in the title.

Okay, so I've never seen the 'Toya: a Family affair' show before today but somehow I have found myself watching a marathon! As I'm watching, one of her brothers [Casey] has an argument with the mother of his child [Gay Gay]. Gay Gay is a college student who works full time, and has found herself pregnant by Casey, currently unemployed and un-enrolled in school. My aunt - who is to blame for me watching this marathon - poses the question: "Why do these girls do that? Good girls go out here and get involved with these guys who have nothing going for themselves!"   I pause. given my recent situation in which I did EXACTLY that, I really had to evaluate my motivation behind it. Why did I decide that for my first relationship, I would decide to be with a man boy with no job, no potential, not in school, nothing in common with me???? 

I had to think for a second, then I realized: who would I date in school? What guy at my school would want to be in a relationship while in college? And if they did want to be in a relationship, chances are they are already in one! Secondly, Black guys who reach status seem to completely lose interest in Black women. As soon as they become engineering majors, varsity basketball\football\soccer (whatever) players, or any equivalent, they feel that being with girls of other races is the thing to do - be it as a symbol of status, exploring something new, or just plain preference. Honestly it's hard to find a black guy in school that will be in a relationship with a black girl, but it's damn near impossible to get a guy of another race to date you!!!! I'm gonna blog on this later, but in short - stereotypes and interracial porn have ruined the black woman's chances of being approached by a guy of another race in an academic setting such as college. 

Us girls go through the college phase of just wanting to party, have fun, and be spoiled by guys...but we outgrow that stage before guys do, thus we sit around at our Aunt's houses watching marathons of shows we've never seen before! 

Tired of being squeezed out of the dating pool...somebody throw me a life vest!!!!