A Thought on Thoughts:

"We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world". - Buddha

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

As I sit alone in my bed...


I start to wonder: is my life REALLY this boring?!?!?  I mean I'm 21, decent looking, great pEr$oN@liTy.... why don't I have friends I can spend pointless nights with? Why don't I have any 'we can study simultaneously, even tho we ain't in the same class' friends? Or even 'I have popcorn, you have a really bad movie...its a night!' friends? Sometimes I wonder if I place too much of an emphasis on friendships - as if those are the things that make me more interesting. 


Truth is, I'm a social person - always have been! In elementary school, I would have 'Talkative" and 'distracts classmates with conversation' all the way down my report cards! I love it!....talking I mean. I love the interaction between people, and getting to know someone. Sitting alone in my bed on a beautiful Spring night...the only people I get to know are Ben & Jerry!!!


But there has to be something....something to DO...something to SEE...something to SAY, that doesn't require friends! Don't get me wrong - I don't want to become a recluse or anything... I just don't want to have to have people around me to feel entertained. I need to learn how to keep myself company - especially since I'm getting older... lets face it, friendships don't last like they used to. These days, a good friend is someone who writes on your Facebook wall more than 3 times a week!


And thus, as I conclude my night, my collegiate career, and this blog - I vow to learn to keep MYSELF company =)

-Money

Monday, February 14, 2011

Random... I swear I will update soon =)





created at TagCrowd.com




Thursday, December 30, 2010

Facebook Thoughts

This was my facebook status yesterday:

"I'm going to be honest, I didn't think any more great black men existed! But a message I received today totally changed my mind on that. Ladies, stop saying there are no good black men left! They are out there, we just have to keep searching, be open, and willing to work with them. And if your search brings you to a man that has been hiding in a cave, be willing to knock some cobwebs off of him! =)"

Im Soooooo Serious about it this time guys!!!

My road to changing my life will begin on January 1, 2011. I will not be the same person at the end of my journey! Please support me you guys! This is NOT a resolution.... this is a promise to myself and my future! I'm all IN!!!

http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage.asp

Monday, December 13, 2010

Did HE Seriously Try 2 Give Me Relationship Advice??!??!??


So I'm on the phone with one of the guys who broke my heart in the past. Why? Looooooong story :\ Anywho, somehow we get on the topic of me having children. I quickly shut that discussion DoWn! As of right now, I dont see myself having kids. So he says "Why not?" And I say "Because I've shut down... I don't want to have sex anymore, and don't see myself getting married so that means no kids for me!"
I guess he saw this as his perfect opportunity to let me know just how little I actually meant to him while we were f*cK!nG <- so the truth because there was ABSOLUTELY no commitment! He fires back "Aww, I hope you dont feel like that because of me.... I believe God will make someone for you... I mean someone who actually likes you"
I could tell that he felt so proud of himself. like this statement would just make my day! NOT!! What I took from that statement was "I mean, I couldn't stand you, and I really dont see any other man on the planet being able to put up with you either, so God's gotta make somebody who can do it!" 
[P.S.: he goes on to ask "what ever happened to that one guy who liked you? where is he?"] (o_O)
First of all: I dont appreciate the over-glorification of relationships! Just because im sans-Man doesnt mean i'm lonely!!! 
Secondly: Kids aint for everyone....i mean, some of us just shouldnt procreate!
Third: Why is HE, of all people, trying to give me advice/encouragement about relationships?!??!? He f*cked me over major, and not because I was all in love (because I honestly dont think i was) but because he knew he never wanted to pursue a relationship with me, but strung me along long enough to get a girlfriend that met his standards, then left me in the dust!
In the past I have been hurt by guys. Even though I've never been in a relationship, I've allowed myself to be used up by men (and I regret it every day of my life!). I don't think that any of these fellas should be extending friendship to me after doing me that way and they mos def shouldn't be commenting on my relationship status!!!