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The topic of
BLACK WOMEN came up after speaking to a good friend for a few hours the other night and I must say the conversation left me feeling cheerless to say the least! To catch you all up on the conversation:
I made the comment that I feel black women are being squeezed out of the dating pool. My friend agreed, but not for the reason I was expecting him to. He agreed on the premise that black women are the least desirable for a relationship. Before he gets a *Oh no he didn't* or a *heffa say what!* with a neck roll, let him explain. He continues that Hispanic women are desired for sexual and sensual pleasures, Asian women for their obedience and traditional perspectives on relationships, and White women for their loyalty. He could not stat one SINGLE reason why a man would want to be with a Black woman, however.
I really felt some kind of way after hearing this, for two reasons: 1) I wasn't expecting this reason for qualifying his statement; I was expecting something like "yeah they are not desired b/c they rob a man of his manhood in a relationship" or some other cliché that I have heard before. 2) NOTHING.... he couldn't think of ANYTHING to say about us sistahs??? I had to regroup after this... think for a minute about what was just said about me (since I am a Black woman). Sensitive old me would have taken it personal, as if he was saying that there is nothing about ME specifically that is relationship-worthy but I quickly realized that ALL Black women were included in this statement - Momma, G-ma, Aunt Neecie, Tasha, Sha' Porche, La'Tonya, Brionica, Aundre'li, and other ethnic names that escape me at the moment.
WHAT!?!?? This can't be true! Out of the box of assorted chocolates that are black women, not 1 tickles your sweet tooth enough to put a ring on it....you know what I mean!
This got me to thinking... could it be a biased or influenced perspective? As most of you know, I attend a predominately white school, and many of the Black men here feel as if black women are good enough to sleep with, but not good enough to be in a relationship with. So I employed the opinion of another male friend who attends a historically black university. When I told him that I thought Black women were being squeezed out of the dating pool he agreed, but for very, VERY different reasons:
I again start by saying I feel Black women are being left out of the dating pool. He agrees, stating that as more Black women graduate from college, more Black men enter the military or prison - making their same race matches disappear from their group of peers. If we consider interracial dating, Black women still earn less on average than their White and Asian peers, so there too is a disconnect, leaving the Black woman few choices for a mate who is her social, economic, and educational equal. He continued that even in cases of pro athletes, they socialize with their socioeconomic peers, who are either other players (thats another blog!), non Black, or celebrities, and there are only so many Gabrielle Union's to go around!
As this blog is getting longer than I would like it to be, let me try to sum my conclusion up in as little words as possible. Maybe us Black women are being left out when men decide to pick a partner, but I do not think it is because we are less desirable as a race, nor do I think it is because of the socioeconomic disconnect. I think that we as a group have been the victims of propaganda!!! YEAH I SAID IT! Every time a Black woman does something, it's a 'black thang'! Why so many generalizations? Why must I be considered not desirable simply because the 'portrayal' someone gets in their mind of a Black woman may not be desirable? Why am I not invited to the NBA All Star Weekend after parties...I mean I did about as much to get famous as Amber Rose did!! Okay.... scratch that! But you get what I mean. And what the HELL is an AVERAGE BLACK WOMAN anyways?!?!? My point is... people have become so desensitized to the Black woman that we are all seen as one big blob of big asses, bad attitudes, and #2 virgin Indian Remi weaves! Let's drop the stereotypes and get to know your nearest Black woman... chances are she's a lot more than what society would have you believe she is!
